Freedom, the Open Road, and Mixed Emotions

How dare you leave me! I hope you have the time of your life. I"m jealous as hell.

When the couple with whom David and I most often socialize were recently stricken by a double layoff that rendered them both jobless and with a hefty mortgage, we were very concerned. They have a very nice home in a very nice neighborhood, the kind of people who make good living look easy. But they worked hard to get there, and in these uncertain economic times all of that suddenly seemed to be in jeopardy. Imagine our surprise when they came up with an unconventional solution: Sell the house, buy an RV, and do some traveling for 6 months before settling in another part of the country with better job opportunities.

How did they come to this decision? I'm sure I only know part of their motivation, if for no other reason than perhaps they're not entirely conscious of it themselves - not completely. But one of them got a good severance package when his branch closed and he was laid off. Then there was the fact that they'd intended to move into less expensive digs anyway. So they went ahead and put the house on the market, accepted a lower offer than they would have originally, and instead of buying a house opted for a home on wheels and put most of their belongings in storage. Pretty radical. It's not permanent by any means, they're simply taking the scenic route to a new life in another city. Visit some relatives and friends, see a bit of the country on the way. 6 months, tops. If it were anyone else I'd think it was a very good idea.

Here's the problem: I don't want them to go. I take it very personally that they would even consider leaving us here on our own, to find someone else to hang out with. We've got other friends, sure, and we love them and enjoy their company. But it's no disservice to those friends to say that we connected the most with Mr. and Mr. Recreational Vehicle. In many ways we're natured alike, and our differences are complimentary for the most part. Now they're abandoning us, or so it feels. They've not left yet, and somehow I already feel completely bereft, like an unexpected death has occurred. It's totally irrational and a bit dramatic I confess. We'll stay in touch via phone calls and Emails and blogs - I'm confident. I think. We've known and loved one of them for more than 17 years, and have come to know and love his partner for the last 9 years. Of course we'll stay in touch. Right?

In fairness, though, we've been talking about moving out of the area ourselves. For a long time now - though we've been dragging our feet. So we would have been leaving them. But now the shoe's on the other foot, and damn it... I wasn't prepared. It all seems to have happened so quickly I can hardly be expected to adjust. Perhaps this turn of events will motivate us to speed up our own relocation to the mountains of Asheville, NC and start anew. Perhaps this will energize us, break us out of the holding pattern we've been in the last couple of years. Perhaps. I hope so. Maybe. I mean, I just started a new job, and the housing market is still bad, and... and... and.... And I'm terrified that we'll still be here treading water 5 years from now. Trapped.

Did I mention that I'm jealous as hell? I'm not even prepared to be gracious about it. They're going to be doing some really amazing things, stuff that I've always wanted to do - and they'll be doing it in style. Their biggest challenge will be trying to figure out how long to stay in one place, and where they'll go next. They've had to simplify and pare down in order to accommodate RV living, and even that has its draw for me. They've decided to stay at gay campgrounds whenever possible, and meet all sorts of interesting people. Enjoying the Grand Canyon more than you thought you would? Another gay RV couple just pulled into camp and you hit it off? No problem, stay another day. Or three. Why not? I hate them.

I wish for them the most amazing experiences as they make this journey together, and I fervently hope that an equally amazing life awaits them at the end of it. They deserve it, because they are amazing people. I love what they are doing. But I don't have to like it.